05 January 2012

Grand Finale

In the words of Porky Pig, "That's all folks!" 

When I sat down to write this, my final post, I intended to write about how we’ve come to the end of our journey now that pilot training is complete. But as I thought about it, I realized that really, our journey is just beginning, and in many ways, it’s never-ending. Pilot training is over (well, almost, as C is completing his follow-on training right now), but it is the beginning of his career as an Air Force pilot and the start of our new identity as a military family. We will go through trainings, deployments, TDYs, leave…countless experiences. But before we face these things we have the gift of knowledge that this year has awarded us. We have built timeless friendships, made special memories, conquered fears and obstacles, and most importantly, learned our strength as a family.

Over a year ago, I started writing about our journey. I wanted to be able to update our friends and family on our progress here, but I also wanted to create a resource. It’s easy to find information on the pilot training experience from the student perspective, but not so easy to get a feel for what the families will go through. I hope now that I have created something that will be useful for the many more families who will come behind us. In closing, I have asked some of my fellow spouses, what is one piece of advice that they would give to incoming UPT families. Here’s what they had to say:

Enjoy it. You may be far away from home, family, friends, and your life in general, but enjoy it. Some days it feels like it will never end. Some days you will barely get a kiss from your husband, and most likely his eyes will be open - looking at his Dash 1. But it goes by fast. And it is likely one of the only times everyone around you will be going through the same thing. You'll make friends fast, easy, and for forever as long as you are open to it - so be open to it. Support your spouse through this, but make sure he supports you too. Make the best of it, and it will be a fantastic time. – MQR

It's an intense time, but there are lots of perks to pilot training which can be extremely beneficial if you're open to them: a helpful & encouraging group of other spouses who embrace you quickly, some small town perks and the benefit of having your husband at home with you almost every night. It really can be a fun adventure and there is so much support readily available. Make the most of every program or volunteer opportunity that you can. It does go by faster with each phase. Most of all, support your man! He needs it so much and even though you're far from home, friends and commodities, it's a great time for you to develop your marriage and focus on the few things that really matter. – MER

Live in the moment. It’s easy to measure time by when he gets home, or after the 15-day program, or during phase 3, but in the meantime, you lose so many important moments. Get involved. Make friends. Do something you love. Be independent. This is such a unique time in your life, and his, and you will never experience it again. Make the most of it. – JS

It is a crazy, stressful, and awesome time! It will be the fastest and slowest year of your life. Some days and nights go by slowly waiting for your husband to come home, but the whole year really does go by fast. And it's easy to become overwhelmed and feel like you're going through it alone so make sure you reach out to all the people around you. Your husband will be so busy, but the base has so many great people to help and guide you through your time here and the other spouses are an invaluable resource. No one will understand what you're going through more than the other spouses so make sure you get involved and make friends. I have met the most friendly and welcoming people here and made some of the best friends I'll ever have. And don't forget to make time for date nights and time to spend just with your husband. Many training bases don’t have a lot to do, but try and find fun activities around base or in the city and carve out time for some fun. He will be stressed out during the work week and spending time together is a great way to relieve stress and maintain a great marriage. He'll need all the help and support he can get from you during this year but I promise it will all be worth it in the end when he gets those wings. – JN

It is the only time that you can not be embarrassed when you need to answer your front door at 3pm and you’re still in or PJs! All the spouses understand that perfectly! – AC

Embrace the area.....it is probably in the middle of nowhere, but especially if you have children there is always something to do. Most events are free or very affordable...check out local websites for events. The OSC is amazing and not like many other bases!! You will truly feel at home if you let yourself! Take the opportunities to join everything!! The best way to make friends is to live on base and go to everything you’re invited to!! But always support your husband/spouse during pilot training. Even for the smartest person this will be a trying year considering all the guys submitted to UPT are the best of the best. Enjoy the time you do have with your spouse because when you get out into the real world of pilots there are long hours, many deployments and TDYs. – KJF

Remember why you’re at pilot training. Like it or not, you are there to support your spouse’s dreams and career. Even when it’s tough, remember that while you can’t help their career, you can certainly hurt it. They just need your unconditional support, no matter what. Even if you’re not in your dream location, or don’t get your dream assignment, remember what it’s all about – helping your spouse to become an Air Force pilot. Also, even if you don’t feel comfortable at spouse events, it’s still good to go because you never know what great friendships you might miss out on! – ET

Even though pilot training is very rigorous, it is the most time you will spend with your spouse in the coming years. After pilot training, there will be many TDYs and deployments to cope with, so enjoy a simple life in a small town. Attend everything that you can! And be a good friend to those you meet. For most spouses, this is a first assignment away from family. The friends you make at pilot training are often lifelong friends and will be there for you through thick and thin. Enjoy spending time with them and making great memories. Don't burn any bridges because, while you cannot help your husband's career, you can definitely hurt it. Getting to know the permanent spouses at the base through OSC is a great opportunity and they are very fun people! Pilot training is a great foundation for your military career going forward! - TG