In addition to the transition into our new home and state, we’ve been preparing our daughter (H) for one more big change: preschool. As a teacher, education tops my priority list, so I’ve been trying to make school sound fun and exciting for the last few months, almost as a reward for our big move. (“When we get to our new house, you get to go to school!”) With a daughter as timid as ours, C and I have approached the first day of school with a bit of inner trepidation, however. H shies away from family and friends on a regular basis, let alone complete strangers who definitely aren’t her mommy. She is the type that often gets overlooked in social situations because she is so quiet and attentive and not boisterously clamoring for attention.
We’ve decided to walk to school each morning (weather permitting), which H views as a kind of treat. We took a tour of the school, walk by the playground almost every day, and have really been talking up what great fun school is. (“Mommy liked school so much, she goes there for her job!”) So yesterday, H was dressed in her favorite cute outfit, strapped in to her panda backpack (not that she needed it – it’s just part of the school “package” for her), and bouncing in her metallic pink tennies, bursting with excitement.
I was hopeful that we would get through the morning without tears. As we walked, she grasped my hand gradually tighter, until we got to the entrance and she threatened to cut off my blood supply. Still no tears though. The moment we walked through the threshold to her classroom the excitement was replaced with utter apprehension. Tears – lots of them – and “I want my mommy!” followed. Of course, I had to hold back my own tears as I tried not to berate myself for leaving her or think about how quickly the years have gone. I left her in the care of her very capable teacher, asking her to please call if the tears didn’t stop soon - usually it’s out of sight, out of mind with her. Fortunately this held true and no phone calls were necessary.
Just before lunch, I came back to pick her up, as promised. Whether it was from thinking I wouldn’t return or just because she thinks I’m a sucker, H immediately burst into tears again. Her teacher assured me that she had had a good day – though a bit shy, she participated and had fun. We celebrated with a trip to McD’s and a full discussion of her day. After a while, I felt confident that school had not been torture and we might even try it again.
And guess what? No tears today – only smiles.
